Facing the Parts You Hide: A Quick Guide to Shadow Work

We all have a "shadow"—the desires, feelings, and memories we'd rather cram in a back closet than admit to ourselves. First described by Carl Jung, the shadow is not "bad"; it's just the unloved aspect of you. If you don't address it, it will run your life from behind the scenes (think unexplained anger, jealousy, or self-sabotage). I know this has been something we here at ETS have all dealt with! But when you approach it with curiosity, you regain energy, creativity, and compassion that have been drained. Here are three bite-sized exercises you can start tonight—no incense or Instagram guru required.

1. The Trigger Log

What it is: A two-column daily diary. In the left column, record every single time that provokes an over-the-top reaction—rage at a slow driver, jealousy on LinkedIn, humiliation when someone gives you a compliment. In the right column, finish the sentence "What does this say about me that I don't want to see?"

Why it works: Triggers are neon road signs that point to disowned qualities. To follow them turns random blow-ups into a breadcrumb trail to your shadow.

Pro tip: Read the log weekly and look for patterns (e.g., "I blow up whenever I'm dismissed"). That pattern is your next growth edge.

2. The 3-2-1 Process

Step 3 (Face It): Write about the person or situation that bugs you in third-person (e.g., "She's controlling").

Step 2 (Talk To It): Get into second-person; engage in a conversation with that trait ("Why are you so controlling?"). Let it speak for itself.

Step 1 (Be It): Reformulate the trait sentence in first-person ("I am controlling when…") and own how, when, and why it shows up in you.

Why it works: Moving from it ➜ you ➜ I closes the distance between "them" and "me," dissolving projections and reclaiming agency.

3. Meeting Your Shadow Meditation

How: Sit in silence for ten minutes. Imagine descending a stairway to an inner sanctum that feels safe. Invite your shadow to appear in any form—person, animal, mist. Ask: "What do you want me to know?" Listen without judgment. Thank it, then imagine integrating—hugging, merging light and dark, whatever feels right—and climb the stairs to the here and now.

Why it works: Symbolic imagery sidesteps the rational mind, giving the unconscious a voice. Frequent visits build trust with the parts you’ve banished.

Safety tip: If overwhelming material surfaces, pause and ground (open eyes, name five objects in the room) or seek professional support.

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Want to Go Deeper? Start Here

📚 Books

• Owning Your Own Shadow by Robert A. Johnson – A short, highly accessible primer on Jung’s shadow concept.

• The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford – Packed with practical, day-to-day exercises for integrating your shadow.

📝 Guided Journal

• Shadow Work Journal by Keila Shaheen – Sixty-plus prompts that keep your practice consistent and focused.

📄 Free Download

• Integral Life’s 3-2-1 Shadow Process (PDF) – A step-by-step worksheet that walks you through Exercise #2 above.

🎧 Podcast

• “Meeting the Shadow” (Episodes 1–3) – Real-life stories of people who’ve done the work and what they learned.

🌐 Website

• ShadowWork.com – Articles, workshops, and a global directory of certified practitioners.

🤝 Professional Support

• Local IFS-trained therapist – If deep or traumatic material surfaces, a professional can help you process it safely.

Remember: the shadow isn’t a monster to slay—it’s an orphaned part of you waiting to come home. Happy exploring!