Challenge Your “Story”

To get unstuck, you HAVE to challenge your “story.” Challenge your supposed identity. All my clients have a negatively skewed sense of who they are. They have been taught by their parents, friends, teachers, and eventually by themselves that they are someone far less than who they really are.

Their stories are abundantly filled with their mistakes, flaws, failures, and f*ckups. If they have spent ANY time in our “wonderful” mental health system, then they have recited their personal stories of tragedy, weakness, addiction, and/or multiple diagnoses thousands of times. So much so that they no longer strive for a future, but are anchored in the past, as if the past defines them.

Lies, lies, lies! You MUST challenge this tainted view of yourself and remember who the f*ck you are! Your past behaviors are NOT you. Your diagnosis is not you. What your parents, counselors, and friends tell you is not who you are.

At your core, you are still who you were at nine or 10 years old. The person who loved to explore, loved to play, wanted to help others, got excited about stupid little things. You have just been beaten down by life so severely that you forgot and started believing and acting the way you thought you were SUPPOSED to be as an adult. F*ck that!

How do you find out if what I’m saying is true? Ask yourself if what you tell yourself about your identity are facts or beliefs—two TOTALLY different things. For instance, if you say (or someone else says), you’re a loser because you lost your job. Is that a fact? F*ck no! Millions of people lose jobs. But if you BELIEVE you’re a loser because you were taught this, then it becomes part of your story.

I could go on and on. I see this every day. Good, decent, bright, talented, creative, wonderful people, stuck living in some sh*t story they were brainwashed into believing about themselves.

So, take some time. Question your self-identity. Question your story. You don’t need to write a new one. You just need to remember the REAL one.